Herd is BACK!

Courtesy of Special Herd Correspondent Mr. Shane McLane....

Greetings Herd Purps! (I neglected Erin, I think, due to the fact that her inbox SURELY would have erupted after receiving this bit of news!!)
I don’t know if others in the Thursday night crowds (including Prince and his Purpleness Revolution) realize this, but as the 2010 rookie of the Mighty Purple Herd, I now see why this virtually unstoppable squad is the most dominant and powerful team within the last millennia! Not only did they prevail in last night’s tsunami-like rainfall, it’s HOW they ascertained their opening victory.
As I slowly strolled up the asphalt JUST before the first pitch from the camouflaged Mulleners I pondered “will the Herd triumph within the mired, puddle-filled infield and marshy outfield”? Is it possible? Well, it didn’t take long to figure out one of MY life’s most burning questions.
As liquid precipitation began to descend upon the finest team to ever tread within the confines of Washington National Park, it quickly became apparent that the Herd came for one reason and one reason only, TO ANNIHILATE! From the 1st inning onward, the bats (the mighty orange and black freak among them) were on fire! They flaunted a conflagration of flames that could not be quenched even by the 1st inning rains.
Therefore, the showers turned into a most monstrous fa shizzile, mizzle drizzle, that has reportedly triggered the indefinite closure of the newly erected downtown BB&T Ballpark. That didn’t stop the Herd! The 2nd base wonder-woman prevented even the most hard-hit line drives from leaving the infield. Two 300 mph drives were snagged by Scott “the Muther Goose” Walkush at his pitching mountain. And as if the Herd’s 12-0 lead wasn’t embarrassing enough, Goose’s collaboration with short-stop We$ley Swipes at 2nd base turned a 1st base overthrown ball into a resounding OUTTA THERE at bag # 2, IN THE FREAKING POURING DRENCHED SOAKING RAIN! Oh, and let’s not forget Goose’s inside the park homerun and dos strikeouts. (do I hear debut MVP?)
I apologized if I deliriously omitted anyone’s finer moments last night. Everyone was AWESOME, reminding the population of Winston Salem why softball seasons exist across the country. It is because the HERD is BACK!!

Preseason Domination, Herd Style

Next Game:
April 8 @ Groomingdales 6:30 Washington Pk #4

Preseason Standings:
Herd 1-0
ECW 0-1

Herd Notes:
No Herd Notes

Game Notes:
When other mere mortal athletic squads have accomplished life goals of dominating their sport, they tend to become complacent and let their guards down. Not the Mighty Purple Herd my friends. In what will be forever known as the most intensely epic and virtually flawless preseason scrimmage effort in the history of organized sports, The defending World Champion Purple Herd completely and utterly decimated the prohibitive preseason #2 team in the Thursday Co-Rec League, the East Coast Wings, by a final imagined score of 48-6. The scintillatingly and historic middle infield of We$ Miller and his spouse, Heather Miller turned a career high 11 double plays in the 1st inning of the route, setting the tone for the remainder of the evening. Not only did We$ give us flashes of pure genius at shortstop, he also hit a towering home run in the first inning that made the entire ECW team reconsider their decision to join the league. The 2009 TarHeel league pitcher of the year, Scott "Goose" Walkush was placed in a position to not only hone his skills against the opposition, he also decided to pitch to his own teammates. While this alone would be worthy of praise and accolades normally reserved for princesses of foreign 3rd world countries, Goose also pitched to himself, the children in attendance and random conspicuous figures walking dogs up the street.
Offensively, the story of the game is the fastest big man on the planet, Chad "The Gazelle" Biggie. The Gazelle was already in midseason gazelle like form, with his blinding scampers around the basepaths and mindnumbingly quick reflexes in the outfield to almost make a play on a ball. While the Gazelle was able to maintain his normal indy car like speed around the basepaths, MVP CNix decided to reign it in a bit with a shot to left center field that allowed Mr. Nix to take a break from any competitive like baserunning. Herd Rookies Shane "nobody hates complesated like" McLane and Jennifer "UpGrade" Miller brought relief to Herd Management with their stellar defense emotional offensive ability on this evening. These two rookies should make the losses of AnnAmanda, CDub, and Amanda bearable.
Erin "Fantasy" Haneline, back from her 6 month self imposed Herd Banishment, showed why she is the most feared hitter in all of Professional Co-Rec Softball. Literally. May God have mercy on the shins and knees of the catcher while the fantasy is batting.

Herd Business:
As you may already know, Herd Management will be on a recruiting trip to City Field on April 8, marking the first missed game in 11 years. Managerial duties will be awarded to the Gazelle on this evening. We will have our final preseason practice next week on Field #4 at 6:00. "If you cant be there on time, be there early"-H. Miller.

***Evening Awards (since it is preseason, limited awards will be given)***

The "Kei$ha" award for having the best pedicure on her toes, toes goes Erin Haneline for her numerous Softballs to the Feet outfield endeavors.

The "Noah's Ark" award for pitching 40 days and 40 nights with of pitches goes to Goose. (credit Haneline for this award)

Random Herd Facts (random facts are limited in the preseason):
Weeping Willows are a result of The Herd yelling at trees for not being awesome enough.

ITS SOFTBALL SEASON!!

Look outside your window dear friends of Purp...ITS SOFTBALL SEASON!! I have just returned from the league office where I had a teleconference with our good friend Todd Barr. We are OFFICIALLY all set for Thursday Night Domination starting this April. Mr. Barr has made me aware of 3 rule changes for this season:

1: We can ONLY use yellow balls.
2: The Pitch height has been changed to 6'-10'
3: We can use rubber tips on our bats this year. (TWSS)

I have moved our practice back one week due to the chill in the air for this Thursday. Our first practice will be Thursday, March 11 at 6:00 at Washington Park.

For those of you that have sent in your league fees, I thank you. For those of you that haven't. Do it. Do it. You can send your $25.00 to the following address:

Herd Management
Attn: Mike Swaim
1024 Cowbell Drive
Jonesville, NC 28642

I strongly encourage handwritten notes of encouragement such as ICS Heather Miller provided over the weekend. These letters not only boost management morale and ego, they also provide proof to Herd Management Spouse that Herd Management is actually part of a softball team and not involved in some sort of Mafia Led Conspiracy to take over the world.

Also, I have a bit of a surprise for the Mighty Purps. Over the weekend, Herd Management sat down with Superstar Recording Artist Jay Sean to pen this year's Official Herd Song! Last year's song, "The Climb" was truly the sole motivation for the Herd in its quest for 2 consecutive World Championships. This years song is even more adrenaline pumping emotion and at this time, I would like to provide you some of the key lyrics to This Years Herd Song, "DO YOU REMEMBER, BRING IT BACK!!

I've been thinking about Herd
And how we used to be then
Back when we didn't have to live we could start again

If it's alright with you then it's alright with me
Baby let's take this time let's make new memories

Do you remember do you remember do you remember
All of the times we had
Do you remember do you remember do you remember
All of the times we had
Let's bring it back (Bring it back!)<----YES!!!
Let's bring it back (Bring it back!)<----YES!!!
Let's bring it back (Bring it back!)<----YES!!!
Let's bring it back (Bring it back!)<----YES!!!
Let's bring it back

I encourage each of you to download this song ASAP, listen, learn and dwell in what our ultimate goal is this year my friends....to BRING IT BACK!! Holla!

Lastly, Former Herd Superstar Amanda Redding has asked if any Herd Men might be interested in playing in a charity softball game to raise money for the infant son of one of her friends that has some serious health issues. Herd Management 100% endorses this event and would like to encourage each of you to participate if possible. Knees Redding will be following up with us with more details soon!

Its Time

It is that time once again my Purple Champions, time to gird up our loins to take the field of battle. While it may seem like it is still winter on the calendar, it is already time to start developing our normal dominating spring mentality. The League Meetings are a mere 2 weeks away, so I need to get a head count of who will be joining me for our title defense this spring.
Here are some things I already know:

1: Compensated does not want to play in the same league as us.
2: Some of Incented does not want to play in the same league as us.

Despite those two teams being the only two team to put a blemish on our otherwise masterful spring/fall records last year (albeit one game was in the mud and the other we had an issue with 93 outfield erros...not that I'm still bitter), we have apparently accomplished our goal of tearing down their softball Universe. This means that we will likely be playing against the likes of Tee Time, Quality Oil, Carlyle and Grady's Pub and other big softball names this year.

Here are the initial invitees to this spring roster:

Women:
Jessica Hendrix
Shannon Craft
Heather Haneline Miller
Erin Haneline
Ashley Perdue
Amanda Redding
AnnaManda Holland

Men:
The Gazzelle
Bryan Timmons
Wes By Gosh Frikin Miller
C-Dub
C-Nix
Scott Goose Walkush
Swaim

The league fee is $330.00. Using the Herd Calculator, that would come out to be about $24.00 per person with a 14 person roster. I would technically need to receive payment (if possible) BEFORE Friday, February 26, 2010. As always, Herd Management will take care of providing amazing softballs and practice fields.

Now for the schedule of events:
League meeting: March 2 (3 weeks away)
First Practice: March 4 (3 weeks away)
First Game: April 8 (8ish weeks away)

Now for the sad news...I will be out of town on April 8, 2010 visiting my home state of New York. Once the roster has been confirmed, I will be reaching out to one of you mighty souls to take over the "coaching" duties for that day. I will also need minute by minute Facebook, Twitter and SMS Text Message updates before, during and after the game.

Thank you for your continued support of Herd Athletics,

Anxious Newcommers!

Herd Administration received the following email earlier today. It seems the entire world is chomping at the bit to dethrone the MIGHTY PURPLE HERD!

GOOD MORNING DEVA,

We are currently working on building a DEVA Softball team. If the below information sounds good to you please contact me so we can get the ball rolling.
Please let me know what position you play or would like to play when you respond. I look forward to hearing from you. GO DEVA!!!!


Are you available and will you show up to participate for Thursday night games. ( Held at 6:30pm ,7:30pm, or 8:30pm)
There is a $360.00 League Fee, that we will split between the team to pay. (Depending on the number of players will depend on how much it will be per person)
We need a minimum of 12 players and a maximum of 20 (6 guys and 6 women/10 guys and 10 women) That format.
Please let me know if you are interested by Monday Feb. 8 and based on that number we can divide up the league fee to be turned in to me by the following Monday Feb. 15. (do not be discouraged if you need more time. Let me know and I would be happy to work it out)

FYI

We do not have to have jerseys but if we would like them it will be $16 per person. I think jerseys would be a great Idea!!
I'M EXCITED!!!!!!!

Uh Oh!

Wow.

FYI: Season Dates

While the new year may have just begun, it is already time to start mentally and physically preparing for what promises to be the most grueling and intense season in Herd History. There is a sweet new countdown clock on the sidebar. Here are a few dates to be aware of:

February 15, 2010: Initial "Are you going to Play" Email
Last week in February: League Meeting
2nd Thursday in March: 1st Herd Practice
1st Thursday in April: 1st Herd Game