Ohhhh Ohhhhh, Your Herd is on Fire!

Game Notes:
The Night Belongs to Lovers…but last night belonged to the Goose, Sergeant Scott Walkush. On an evening where the Herd couldn’t seem to sustain any sort of substantial offensive explosion, it was our Captain Walkush who led the charge with a career high 3 home runs and 19 rbi’s on the Herd’s 3rd multi game night of the season that lead the Mighty Purple Herd to its first two game sweep of the season and secured a .500 record on the year. Great job young turk!

While Walkush was indeed one of the most dominating specimens since Kate Gosling’s fertility injections, the beloved and fantastic Fantasy Haneline was able to shoulder the load for the women, knocking in a paltry 11 runs herself on the evening. It wasn’t so much the dominating performance by Fantasy that was so beautiful, it was the complete and unadulterated hustle on every single play that made Herd management feel all warm inside.

While the Mighty Purple Herd has struggled to regain its dominating demeanor for the biggest part of the season, there was one special moment in this game that may go down as the turning point of the season. While many believe this moment came when Herd Managements shorts fell down on his trounce down to first base, it indeed is not the moment. The moment came in the 4th inning of the same v/s the Drunken Soccer Players when our favorite transfer, Jeni from Mullen came out of the dugout with a burning hatred fuming in her deep purple eyes. A hatred not seen since the days of the Compensated rivalry. It is of Herds management’s belief that this hatred spewed over into the entire team, single handedly willing them to victory.

Another Herd player with fire in her eyes and fury in her heart was J-Mill. The Mill has been on an absolute tear this season, both at the plate and at the 9 different positions she has played defensively throughout the course of the year. J-Mill is now the 1st rookie in Herd history to play 4 positions on the same night and in the same game. While Mull struck fear into the heart of Herd Administration upon her arrival in some of the most intimidating doctor looking wardrobe, her calming yet dominating influence on all 2 games was indeed a much needed mind relieving experience all night long.

In a pregame speech with Fantasy, it was determined that when the city of Winston Salem finally erects a statue in the Honor of its beloved Purple Army, the statue will indeed take on the perfectly silent, yet dominating appearance of The Show, C- Dub. Dub has inspired so many of us in so many different ways throughout the years. At least 4 of the Herd athletes are currently trying to emulate his batting stance and overall outlook on life.

One player who is quickly becoming a Herd Icon is our utility player, our biggie, and our gazelle, Chad Biggie White. When Herd Management was recollecting the happenings of this epic double-header victory, it was the overall play of our Biggie that seemed to stand out like a beautiful Rhinna/Eminem compilation. The Gazelle played a flawless 3rd base and pitched a gem for the first 4 innings of the Aon contest.

One of the most physically intimidating and down right frightening figures in the history of the Herd..ney…they History of the league this year is our uber slugger, Wes by gosh frikin Miller. Not much can be said about Miller’s skill set or contributions to this team that hasn’t already said, however one moment in the beloved career of Miller occurred in the 1st game last night when this creature literally ate the hard rubber knob off of a bat. Ate a rubber knob. Off of a bat. Let that settle in for a minute.

It was a long and hard, yet uber productive day for Herd Rookie, Lauren “Hero” Hunt. Hunts pregame ambitions were dully noted via iphone video, however it was her in game dedication that was most influential to the entire Herd team. The reputation of the Hero has obviously been spread throughout the league due to the fact that the Doodlebugs REFUSED to hit a ball anywhere near her all night long.

In softball, superstition is the norm. Some women will not step on the chalk while coming off of the field, while some guys on our team love to wear womens underwear. One of the most superstitious players on our team however, is Doubles Timmons. Never before has Herd Management seen one natural event such as a Double Rainbow turn around the season of not only one individual such as Timmons, but the entire Purple Herd team. Double Rainbow. What does it all mean? Wins. Double wins. That’s what it means. All the way.

Mortal words and phrases simply can not quantify the true love and compassion Herd management has for the All Time Herd Great, Ashley A-Dub Perdue. A-Dubs contributions to this mighty Herd nation do not come from her mind blowing stats alone. No. A-Dubs impact is felt far beyond the softball field. If Things are tight, Dub will put on a stand up comedic routine that rivals that of comedic great Asis Ansari to loosen up the team. If the Herd needs to score the runner at 3rd, A Dub will calmly drop a single in behind the 1st baseman. And if the Herd needs a stop, the mighty power glove work of our beloved Franchize Perdue will make the play. Respect.

Finally, Herd Management would like to give a sincere and heart felt shout out to the most prolificly amazing player on the roster, one Mrs. Heather Haneline Ice Cream Miller. Miller comes to the game with a mindset that she is going to sacrifice her heart, body and soul for the betterment of The Purple Good and last night was no exception. With a beautiful swan dive into 3rd base in one of the most critical situations of the entire year, Ice Cream has solidified herself as a True Herd Legend that dreams are made of. Millers bat has so dramatically improved since the first of the year that teams across the nation are in shock and awe of such majestic greatness.

EVENING AWARDS:
The “Shannon Craft award for being Shannon Craft” goes to Wes By Gosh Frikin Miller for being the Herd Profit, always knowing what is going to happen before it happens can save the life of Herd Administration.

The “Haneline/Miller devastating slide” award goes to HEATHER MILLER for her crucially perfect 3rd base jab.

Random Herd Facts:

When the Herd was nine, they dressed as themselves to go trick-or-treating. The Herd came home with a bag full of candy, a bag full of miniature liquor bottles, an Irish Setter, and two underage prostitutes carrying more of their candy.

The Herd was the first person to walk up to a cow and say, “Whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze them, I’m drinking!”

The Herd is the life of parties they never even attended.

Once, the eye of a passing hurricane winked at the Herd.

Thank you for your continued support of Herd Athletics,
Michael Swaim Herd Administration
http://www.purpleherd.blogspot.com