Over the years, Herd management has experienced various types of unbearable pain. Pain such as kidney stones, arm strains, back pain, unc national championships and broken ankles. None of these pains however can compare to the pain of losing to a team who’s best player is a short stop that looks like Zack Morris from Saved by the Bell and Phyllis Diller mated and produced an detestable offspring.
Despite the scorching hot bats of the Herds most prolific power hitting duo in team History, We$ “by gosh firkin “ Miller and Chris “robbed” Nixon, the Herd was unable to overcome the rat demons on this humid evening. Nixon filled in admirably at LC for Doubles Timmons, despite being robbed of robbing a home run from the steroid enhanced psycho pitcher. We$ turned in one of the most completely dominating performances at Short Stop that Herd Management has ever witnessed, ruining the lives and dreams of many rat base runners on the evening.
Shane O’Mite McLane, fresh off of his self imposed 3 game suspension, returned to the roster with a fresh mindset and a whole new love for the game, and it showed in a huge way. McLane made some of the most unbelievably acrobatic catches in right field that had most spectators confused and bedazzled all evening. Not only was he hot, both literally and metaphorically in the outfield, he came through with numerous clutch hits down the stretch against Wings that sent the Might Herd into the Semi Finals.
Drill Sergeant Scott “Goose” Walkush rebounded in a HUGE way on the mound last night with a flawless pitching effort in both games. The story of the night though was Sergeant Goose taking over the leadoff spot in the batting order. Goose lived up to the management imposed hype, delivering base hit after base hit, setting the table for the Herd offense all night long. The play of the year came when Sergeant Goose took it upon himself to physically remove the head rat from the game with a scorching missile up the middle with the very first pitch that shook the nerves of the rats pitcher, bringing the Herd sideline to its feet in admiration and approval.
The Herd most improved player Award this year will have to go to The Dancing Gazelle, Triple Zero Chadwick White. All year long, the Gazelle has been able to deliver in the most crucial of situations on both offense and defense. It is one thing to simply produce when your team needs you the most however the Gazelle took it to a whole new level this year and produced with elegance and grace that would be enough to make a grown man cry.
One of the staples of the Herd lineup all year long was our Fantasy, EH #8. Fantasy was locked in at the plate all night long, producing at the highest of levels. Fantasy had the look in her eye from the get go that she was not going to allow the Herd suffer another loss at the hands of the dastardly rats. Herd management considers this the finest effort of the season put forth by the Fantasy and relishes the opportunity to watch her expand on this in the fall season.
The Shannon Craft Award was also highly keyed in at the plate all night long on the bittersweet evening. Award is hitting the ball better than she ever has in her entire career, which needless to say is quite an accomplishment for such a decorated veteran of the Mighty Purple Herd. Award, who comes dressed in the old school Blundering Herd Jersey to inspire of the way things used to be, in a better time, was able to summon the ghosts of Herd past and deliver beautifully orchestrated base hits that scattered throughout the outfield all night long.
The Hammer, J-Mill, was our vocal and defensive leader last night, rivaling the Sergeant in motivational words and phrases. It was 11 Thursdays ago last evening that J-Mill lost her Herdginity, and since that glorious, emotional moment she has blossomed into one of the league’s best overall player. J-Mill swings the bat with such resounding fury, that the entire left side of the field quivers in their cleats each and every time Hammer walks into the batter’s box. It is the defense that J provided to the Herd that has earned her the Managers Female MVP award this season.
Herd Management becomes overcome with emotion as he recollects the last two season he was able to spend with the most amazingly gifted athlete and genuinely nice person in the history of co-rec athletics. It is with deep sadness and immeasurable sorrow that we bid goodbye to what will forever be our MVP, Jessica Hendrix. Jessica brought a much desired flare and spark to the Herd last year that led us to our first back to back championship season in Herd History. She also brought us Blake that one time. That was awesome.
In what is considered an all around dark and depressing night, there were two sensational women that shone brighter than the brightest stars in the sky. Herd management would like to thank Rose “KET” Ketner and Hien “Usain Bolt” Lewis for their sensationally amazing contributions to the overall success of the Herd Nation last night. Words can’t even begin to describe the amount of gratitude and admiration Herd Management has for these two amazing women. While it may have seemed to be a bit of a stretch to bring in one of the players for the despised yet now defunct Compensated squad, Ket was able to provide late inning heroics when things looked their darkest to the Mighty Purp. One of the superstars from the 2009 Spring Championship team also provided the same late inning heroics with her unmatched speed and desire to make everyone around her better. These two ladies will forever hold a special place in the Herd’s Purple Hearts.
Random Herd Facts:
The Herd once threw itself a surprise party but couldn’t attend because they didn’t give themselves enough notice.
When the Herd orders a salad, they get the dressing right there on top of the salad, where it belongs…and there is no turning back.
Bulls flat out refuse to fight The Herd
If the Herd argues with you, it is because you are wrong.
The Herd can navigate a ship by stars…during the day.