Dont Stop Believin'

Last night:
Lab Rats 13 Herd 12
Energy 7 Mullen 2
YMCA 13 ECW 7

NEXT WEEK!!
Herd v/s Wings 7:30
Energy v/s YMC 6:30
Mullen v/s Lab Rats 8:30

Standings:
YMC A's 2-0
Lab Rats 2-0
Energy 1-1
ECW 1-1
Herd 1-2
Mullen 0-2

Absent Next Week:
??

Herd Notes:
Herd has a sub .500 record for the first time in 4 years
Herd has a 2 game losing streak for the first time in 4 years

Blog Plug: http://www.purpleherd.blogspot.com
Game Notes:
Respected author Charles Dickens once coined the phrase, "It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times. what in the @#9@ is wrong with the Herd?" It what has become one of the most depressing nights of the week for Herd Management, the Once Mighty Purple Herd suffered another heart crushing defeat at the hands of the undefeated Lab Rats by a score of 13-12.

The game got off to a hot and almost sexy start as Bryan "pregame king" "Mr. doubles" stepped up his game and recorded a leadoff triple, however,despite the superhuman efforts of We$ by gosh firkin Miller and Shannon Craft award, the Inglorious Purpstards were unable yet again to get over the hump in the 7th inning. While the season may appear to be taking an unfortunate unc'esq downward spiral into the darkest pits of softball depravity, there is still hope to turn it around. If nothing else, we have officially found our inspiration and motivation to succeed, and that motivation is the pitcher for the Rats. Never before has Herd Management witnessed a more classless and inhumane performance by an opposing pitcher. From this point forward, the rats are our new Compensated. This will be our launching pad to resurrect our season. Friends, we shall not lose another game.

Herd Management would like to thank Heather "seriously, its been like 24 games and still not one single ice cream sandwich" Miller for her heroic efforts at 2nd base. Despite playing with one of the most gruesome injuries to both of her quads that has ever been medically recorded, Mrs. Miller made some of the most spectacular plays at that position in the history of sports. Also playing out of position for a good portion of this game, CNix made a few plays in the outfield that would make Willie Mays Hays envious. Another bright spot on this otherwise deeply depressing evening was the play from behind the plate by Herd Rookie Tonya Burleson. The catch on the baseline was a thing of beauty and grace normally reserved for Broadway ballet performances and SNL skits. Yet another player who deserves some high accolades, THE FANTASY, Erin Hanelene, was 3 for 3 in pinch running opportunities. I will leave that up to the masses to figure out what exactly that means, but congratulations anyway! Yet another player playing out of position, Biggie, Triple Zero, The Gazelle was able to come in cold off the bench and deliver two humongous, biggie sized RBI's that helped bring the team out of its offensive funk and back into contention.

There were some truly bright candles in this otherwise dark dark night. Shane McLane defended the Herd Honor by heckling the deserving Rats pitcher during his 5th inning tirade. Shannon Craft Award picked up where she left off at the end of last season, going a blustery 3-3 on the evening and not making ONE SINGLE ERROR in right Field!! We$ by gosh frikin Miller's 2 jacks in the 3rd and 4th inning were proof that one man can make a difference to the hearts and souls of this softball family. Scott "Goose" Walkush, our heart, our rock, our leader, was once again the most dominating force the co-rec softball world has ever witnessed on the mound and on the basepaths. The epic slide into 3rd that kept a rally going last night was not necessarily a thing of beauty, but it was a thing none the less. Last, but certainly not least, Jennifer "please never leave me" Miller's performance in the field last night, despite facing a 5,331,665,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 pound glowing celestial object for most of the game was nothing short than a thing of beauty. Even more beautiful was Miller's late night Facebook chat with Herd Management, ensuring HM that the Herd will, oh yes they will, turn around this bleak and emotionally devastating season.

Herd News!
Herd Management has made a decision that will not be popular with the club. Herd Jerseys and the color Purple will be officially BANNED from the field starting this Thursday and will last until the Herd is back above .500.

***Evening Awards*** (once again limited due to the loss)

The "Shannon Craft" award for being Shannon Craft goes to Shane McLane for his retaliation against the highly intoxicated Lab Rat Pitcher.

The "Redding/Haneline" award for most gut wrenching slide goes to SCOTT WALKUSH!!!! If we cant win the game, at least take out their catcher baby!!

Random Herd Facts (fyi, when we stop sucking, so will these facts):
When the Herd gets pulled over for speeding, The Herd lets the cop off with a warning.
Helen Kellers favorite color is Purple.
Everybody loves Raymond. Except for the Herd.

And now your punishment for the two game losing streak:
A string once walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said "I'm sorry string, we dont serve strings in this bar." The string walked outside the bar and tied himself into a knot and frayed up his hair and walked back into the bar and ordered another drink. The bartender said, "arent you that string that was just in here?" The string said, "no, I'm afraid not"


Thank you for your continued support of Herd Athletics

Michael Swaim | Herd Administration
Sad Bear