Friday, April 30, 2010

Say Herd, Say Win, Say it together, Naturally


Game Notes:
Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, the Once Mighty, Then Blundering, Then Mighty again PURPLE BY GOSH HERD overcame more obstacles than the Gosselin children last night in route to a heart felt 18-17 win over the Wings from East Coat. Former Herd Legends Amanda Redding and 9's, John Chappell were on hand Thursday evening to inspire the struggling Purps to a very hard fought, yet well deserving win. The evening began with an emotional, uplifting speech about lawn care and lawn machinery by Herd Super Fan Maggie Gyllenhaal and her partner, Jenny McCarthy. From this point forward, when Herd Management sees a freshly cut outfield or a tattoo inside someone's lip, he will always be reminded of Maggie Gyllenhaal and Jenny McCarthy.

One of the Herd's shortcomings through the first 3 games was the lack of offensive production. On this evening, the Purpleless Herds would regain their offensive prowess in a big way, dropping 18 runs on the defensive minded Wings. La velada tuvo un inicio interesante, con El Chris De Nixon ~ al abrir por primera vez en su carrera Hato La. Nixon no decepcionarlo, va 3-4 con juego de mĂșltiples cambios de carreras impulsadas. Heather "Inappropriate but AWESOME!" Miller was perhaps the most awe inspiring player of the evening, splattering the outfield with base hit after base hit despite still recovering from two of the most brutally disgusting hamstring injuries ever seen. Batting behind Heather, We$ "the exclusive reason we cant have pajama day next week" Miller was put in a position to succeed mightily, driving in a game high lot of runs and proving to Herd Management Pajama day would be a horribly tragic idea. Also contributing at an absurdly high level at the plate was Moe Craft Award. Moe reached base in 3 of her 4 at bats and continues to be a staple on the team and in our hearts. Bryan "unanimous awesome t shirt winner" Timmons, moved to the middle of the batting order for the first time since 1983 produced all night long in a big way. Timmons night was jam packed with the following events that a normal human being could not accomplish in a week, much less CPT(its ok, our waiter said we can use it): down an entire chicken, nachos, fried pickles, multiple beverages, bring in an amazing pregame crowd, play perfect defense in the outfield, drive in multiple runs and STILL forget his glove at the field and retrieve it hours later. A very special Herd acknowledgement goes out to Ashley "1/2 Woman 1/2 Amazing" Perdue for not only her high level of clutchitude down the stretch v/s Wings, but also bringing in the bearer of what has become the most legendary softball athlete of our time, her mom! What is even more amazing is that Mom-o-Legend was able to show up to the field hours before AP. Way to keep everyone on thier toes!!
Super Star Pitcher Scott "gas man" Walkush turned in what may very well be the most inspirational performances of the decade, playing with 2 ripped quads, a torn groin, an ACL sprain and a terrible case of the scurvy. None the less, Walkush was able to come in cold off the bench to provide instant offense and clutch pitching in relief to pick up his 2nd win and 1st save of the season.
Jennifer "You're the meaning in my life, your the inspiration" Miller continues to climb the ever popular ladder of awesomeness on a game by game basis not only with her tear jerking performance on the softball field, but also her performance OFF the field. Not only does she take the time to build character to Herd Management's facebook account, she also does many other things that I dont know about and do not have the time to make up, that makes this world a better place to live on a daily basis.
A very special bucket of kudos must be handed out to Our Fantasy, Erin "Say you, Say me, Say it together, Naturally" Haneline. Not only was fantasy solely responsible for the most amazingly historic t-shirt day Herd promotion in the history of our purple universe, she was also responsible for the game tying run in the bottom of the 7th inning that thrusted our beloved Herds to victory. Add those accomplishments to her recent pinch running endeavors and her skinned knees for the wedding this weekend, and I think we can all agree, The Fantasy is what dreams are made of.

Three very special Herd Game Balls must be presented to the following athletes: The 1st game ball goes to The Gazelle Biggie Chad White. Biggie has become one of the most devastating hitters in the league, and combined with is blinding speed and Purple Socks, he has solidified himself as a legitimate candidate for post season Herd MVP. Biggie was HUGELY "pun intended" responsible for the 8th inning rally to lead the Purps past the wings. Not to be overshadowed by Biggie's accomplishments is 2009 Jessica "Its a very snoopy Christmas!" Hendrix! Hendrix shook off a last minute exit from last weeks game to come back this week with blazing fury. Herd Management does not even want to begin to think about where this team would be without the masterful artwork that Jessica brings to every single game. The last but not least game ball goes to Mr. Clutch, Shane O' Mac Pitcher, EH, 3rd Baseman, Outfielder do everything McLane. Shane delivered the most devastating 3 run triple in Herd History this season, tying the game at 17 in the bottom of the 8th inning. Without that slab of clutch, Herd would have gone home empty handed yet again.

Herd News!
It is of Herd Management's opinion that The Mighty Purple Herd has earned their Purple back with the effort Thursday night, HOWEVER, if anyone has any promotional ideas that they would like to share, Herd Management will listen.

***Evening Awards*** (once again limited due to the loss)

The "Shannon Craft" award for being Shannon Craft goes to Amanda Redding for being Amanda Redding

The "Redding/Haneline" award for most gut wrenching slide goes to AMANDA REDDING!!!! She just has to show up to win this award. A close 2nd place goes to CNix for one of the dustiest slides in the history of Herd Sliding.

The "Order has been Restored" award goes to AMANDA BY GOSH REDDING!!!! for no reason inparticular!

Random Herd Facts:
The Herds personality is so magnetic, they are unable to carry credit cards.
The Herd can speak fluent French...in Russian
The Herds charm is so contagious, vaccines were created for it.
When Aliens abduct the Herd, they ask The Herd to probe THEM
The Herd is a lover, not a fighter. But they are also a fighter so don't get any ideas.



Thank you for your continued support of Herd Athletics

Michael Swaim | Herd Administration
Happy Bear!

1 comment:

  1. It was nice to:
    a) Get back on the win train
    b) Sport a ridiculous holiday faux sweater shirt in a sporting event
    c) Repeatedly be referred to as a gangster (c'mon, that just makes you feel GOOD)

    ReplyDelete