Ale Ale-HERD-ro

Last night:
Herd 18 Energy 16
Mullen Less YMC A's More
Wings More Rats Less

NEXT WEEK!!
YMCA v/s Rats Washington 4 6:30
Herd v/s Mullen Washington 4 7:30
Energy v/s Wings Washington 4 8:30

Standings:
YMC A's 4-0
Lab Rats 3-1
Herd 3-2
Energy 1-3
ECW 1-3
Mullen 0-4

Absent Next Week:
??

Herd Notes:
Herd has finished above .500 in the 1st half for the 3rd consecutive season
Herd has scored the most runs of any team in the entire 1st half
Herd has had more celebrities to attend pregame festivities than any team in the league.

Game Notes:
In what Herd management considers the greatest non championship game night in his illustrious purple life, the MIGHTY PURPLE HERD rode the wave of the most magical pre game festivity ever to an epic win over the WS Energy’s by a final
score of 18-16.
Despite the conspicuous pregame absence from self proclaimed Herd Fanatic Maggie Ghylenhaal, the festivities got off to a fast start thanks to the musings from long time Herd supporter, Khang of Leon. Unfortunately, an overly aggressive group of Herd Fanatics became a little over excited and began giving the Glorious Purps a show for the ages. While super rookie Jennifer "JJ" Johnson received a slight neck strain from trying to obtain a more visually enhancing perspective for this interesting yet embarrassing display, it was Khangs of Leon who reaped the most benefits of being yet another celebrity Pre Game Festivity attendee. Also in attendance was local WXII 12 trafic correspondent, Jennie Stencel! Jennie, an obvious Herd Fanatic, was more than intrigued when offered a once in a lifetime opportunity to participate in a Herd game next week. It has recently come to Herd's attention however, that even though Jennie loves the Herd more than life itself, that any Herd representative, player, coach, or manager MUST stay at least 50 yards away from Mrs. Stencil at all times or face criminal prosecution to the fullest extent of the law. My bad.

On the field, it only took the Big Purps one inning to recover from the awesome car wreck of an adult rated pre game festivity. Falling behind 3-0 early, the MAJESTIC MIGHTY PURPS went wild in the bottom of the 1st inning, thanks in large part to We$ "BY GOSH FRIKIN" Miller's entrancing and life changing home run into the muggy night sky. Superstar Bryan "Pregame King, Doubles King, Leon King" Timmons got back to the basics Thursday and it paid off. Timmons' 3 doubles on the game makes him the most prolific doubles man in the history of co-rec or plan rec league softball history, moving him ahead of former 70's Softball superstar/disco champion Richard Lips. Congratulations to BT on this prestigious honor.
Not to be outdone on this glorious, yet overly saturated evening was the performance of Shannon "Gimp" Craft. Herd management can not remember a hotter streak of plate appearances not directly related to delicious Prime Rib delacies in the history of the League. Needless to say, Shannon Craft Award has stepped up in a huge way this season. Also continuing his monstrous season on this epic evening was Chad "THE GAZELLE" Biggie White. Going back through the scorebooks on the season, Herd Management could not be located where The Gazelle has not reached base in some capacity in every single game. While this stat may be slightly skewed due to the fact that The Privileged Herd rarely if ever actually keeps score, it is still worth noting. Also worth noting is the quite, romantic walk in the pitch dark from the field to the Herd-mobiles after the game last night that Herd Management was able to share with The Gazelle. We should do more of that. While infinitely dangerous and by most accounts not advised, it does help grow team unity and strength to be fearful for your life after any sporting event. Another red hot Herd Athlete both on the field and in our hearts is the official Herd song comer upper, Heather "ALE ALE-Jandro!" Miller. Mrs. Miller is notorious for many things, things such as coming to the field jacked up on Bojangles Ice tea, perverted jerseys (referred to as perjeys), playing softball good, but most notably, bringing a song to the field and firmly implanting said song into the weak, fragile mind of Herd Management, so it shall never escape. ALE ALEJANDRO!!
Defensively, this game was controlled from start to finish by what Herd Management considers the most overwhelmingly overall dominating presence on the field at any given time Scott "NOT SHANE!" "GOOSE" Walkush. Goose delivered a vast array of pitches on this evening that had the Energy batters confused and disoriented most of the evening. Not only did Goose once again deliver from the hill, he delivered from the plate, scattering the Energy pitches all over the WP3 outfield. Goose's partner in crime, Shane Mc"O MAC!" Clane turned in his best overall defensive performance of his young rookie year, making numerous clutch catches in the outfield and staying white hot at the plate. As it stands, The Irish Assassin is currently in 7th place in the Herd History books for batting average by a male rookie.
It was mentioned in an earlier report that Jennifer "my rock" Miller has been recently climbing the prestigious Herd Management's Popularity ladder for quite some time. Things were no different last night. Jennifer Miller led all women with rbi's, hits and runs scored on an evening where leaders such as her were able to shine like a brightly lit candle in a dark dark compensated night. Another bright, shinny star was The Fantasy, Erin Haneline. The Fantasy made a rare yet glorious appearance at Pre Game Festivities that literally set the tone for this amazing evening. Erin, a long time HM favorite, literally saved the game in so many ways last night, especially from the defensive side of the ball. Never before has Herd Management become so overjoyed with debilitating emotion after the series of defensive stops made last night by our own nightly Fantasy.
The story of the night belongs to two of the most physically intimidating game changers in the Long, Drawn Out, sometimes even overbearing History of the MIGHTY PURPLE HERD, Amanda Redding and Jennifer Johnson. In a time when the Herd was struggling to produce runs, make routine defensive plays, and just seemed to lack the overall will to live, it only took one appearance last week from Redding to turn around a season that was thought to be lost. Redding infused her unique style and grace on a team that was lacking an identity, and single handily turned them back into legitimate challengers for their 3rd consecutive championship. Also contributing heavily to the Herd Turn Around is our 2nd Raleigh Athlete, Jennifer "J-Dub" Johnson. J-Dub brought a spark to pregame festivities not seen since former Herd Superstar, Sac, was able to single handily destroy a Foothills sampler and STILL be physically able to perform at an absurdly high level that evening. J Squared became just the 23rd Herd Rookie to get a base hit in her very first at bat AND make a crucial rally ending play in the outfield. Herd Management would like to thank you for your contributions and welcomes you back with open arms to The Herd Nation!!

Herd News!
While things did not go exactly as planned for the 1st half, we are obviously one of the best teams in the league and still have a valid chance to win the championship if we can drive through the 2nd half of the season unscathed. We start our season next week v/s Mullen at 7:30 with a 0-0 record.

***Evening Awards***
The "Shannon Craft" award for being Shannon Craft goes to Scott Walkush for being Shane McLane.
The "Redding/Haneline" award for most gut wrenching slide goes to AMANDA REDDING!!!! Amanda slides into 3rd base. Amanda slides into home. Most importantly, Amanda slides into our hearts.
The “Peeping Tom” award goes to Jennifer Johnson!! We’ll get you a better seat next time.

Random Herd Facts:
The Herd never say’s anything taste like chicken… Not even chicken.
The Herd once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.
Even the Herd’s enemy’s list them as there emergency contact.
The Herd once knew a call was a wrong number, even though the person on the other end wouldn't admit it.
The Herd once challenged a mirror to a starring contest. The mirror gave up out of sheer intimidation.

Thank you for your continued support of Herd Athletics
Michael Swaim|Herd Administration
http://www.purpleherd.blogspot.com