Thursday, August 11, 2011

Dont call it a comeback, we've been here for years















LAST NIGHT:


Herd 7 Flex 6


Next Week:
6:30 Novant v/s Zach Galafanakis fanboys WP4
7:30 Herd v/s Tarheels (WHAT?!?!) WP4
6:30 Flex v/s OSC WP1


7:30 Mixed up vs Haws WP1



Absent Next Week:?


Tee Time

On the Edge of Glory:
1st time in club history overcoming a 4 run 7th inning deficit
1st HTP in the prestigious pre game history of the mighty Purple Herd


383rd Haneline/Miller injury

Game Notes:


Katy Perry. Taylor Swift. Chipper Jones. The Jonas Brothers. The blond girl on iCarley. Unlike these soulless, no talent cretins, the Mighty Purple Herd displayed a level of heart and determination that was once thought to be crushed and destroyed well into the 7th inning of the opening game of the 2011 Fall Co-Rec season. While the bats seemed to be on a hiatus for the most part of the game, it was the enthralling defense of the sensational Herd that kept the destiny darlings in the game. Led by the splendid glove of nauseously jacked up Sparkles and the unbridled range of C-Nix, the fine folk from flex floundered from the offensive side of the plate as well. Super Slugger J the Crush Mill was nothing short of tremendous in her first start, replacing Herd Legend Ashley Perdue at 1st base. Biggie The Gazelle sporting a confusing LSU jersey was amazing not only at 3rd base, but also provided one of the only bright spots at the plate on the evening, going a blustery 2-3.



Long time Herd Patron and leader of the Herd endorsed Tee Time club, C-Pfohl provided Herd management exactly what he wanted in a ball player…eternally great skill. Pfohl had the entire Flex defense more confused than a goat on AstroTurf with his ability to hit the ball anywhere on the field.



A special gold star goes to the official Herd inspiration, Heather “Ice Cream?” Miller. Ice Cream stood in the box as a psychotic Flex runner tried to shred her entire body with his cleats like Freddy Krueger. Ice suffered substantial contusions to the upper thigh, calf, ankle, spleen, and hip, yet did not come out of the game and continued to produce at a high level.



Fantasy Report:


Since Fantasy contributes about 93% of the material for each and every Herd report, Herd Administration has decided to dedicate an entire section in her honor, for this week anyway. While Fantasy’s contributions on the field are immense and incomparable, it was her off the field antics that stole the show on this evening. Despite the fact that the pre game DJ antics obviously did not inspire the Herd bats, it did inspire the entire Flex squad to literally applaud each Herd athlete as they were introduced. Kudos Fantasy.



POG Report:


Herd Pitcher, Scott “Goose” Walkush has time and time again established himself as an all time Herd great, both on and off the field. Tonight was no exception. While Goose was 0-3 prior to his last at bat replacing the record setting Bryan “Doubles” Timmons in the leadoff spot, Herd Management said a little prayer asking for him to just get one more at bat. Prayer answered. Everyone in the stadium knew that if Goose was able to get the bat in his hands just once more, he would deliver, and deliver he did. New 9’s delivered a crushing blow to RC that allowed the game winning run to score in the bottom of the 7th. Super kudos to you sir! Enjoy your legen….dary status my friend.




Rookie Report:


An exciting new feature of the Herd report will be our weekly dedication to our two sensational rookies, J Dub and M-Inch. These two tireless Herd Athletes have both infused an immeasurable spark into the moral fiber of the Herd, not experienced since the historic season of 2009. The on the field contributions were also awe inspiring on this muggy evening. M-Inch played flawlessly at one of the toughest positions on the field, 2nd base, while J-Dub drew the 2 out walk that led to Goose’s game winning hit. Rookies, I encourage you to continue to awe me on a weekly basis.



EVENING AWARDS:
The “Ashley Perdue” award for causing Herd Management significant chestial pain due to arriving last goes to SCA! AP would be pound my friend




The “DJ Jazzy Jeff” award for mixing up phat beats during pregame goes to Fantasy. I wasn’t sure whether to dance the night away or swing at mediocre thrown softballs.


The “Herd Pride” award for bringing the most Herd support goes to rookie Minch! Way to care.


The “Shannon Craft” award for being Shanon Craft goes to Ashley Perdue for Shannon Craft being Ashley Perdue.


Random Herd Factoids:



When in Rome, they do as the Herd does.


The pheromones the Herd secretes are felt hundreds of miles away…in a slight but measurable way.


The Herd is the life of parties they have never attended.


The Mighty Purps have won the lifetime achievement award…twice.



Thank you for your continued support of Herd Athletics,

Michael Swaim Herd Administration
http://www.purpleherd.blogspot.com










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