Despite an inexcusable daylight miscalculation by Herd Management, the Mighty Purple Herd kicked off the 2012 Spring season in glorious fashion Thursday night at historic Washington Park field #3. A redefined body, mind and soul for Goose paid off early, with Goose Going Yard for the 1st time in his illustrious career. Goose, no doubt inspired by the emotional appearance of all time Herd Superstar Wes "BGF" Miller was able to pull, push, yank and smack the ball at will, no doubt due to his reconstructed hamstring that has plagued this superstar for 6 grueling years.
It is always entertaining for Herd Management to catch up on what the Herdlings were up to during the long offseason. One particular adventure that perked interest of all involved was that of Herd own 3rd baseman, Sparkles. Sparkles decided to take his offseason activities to a whole new level, dipping into the bio-technology realm in an attempt to create a cure halitosis. Sparkles mixture of cleet, water, sweat, age, heat and funk did not exactly churn out the results he had hoped for, however it did give everyone a pure and true appreciation for personal hygiene.
The Herd Nation would also like to welcome back Ashley Perdue from her one year hiatus. The Legend has already provided huge dividends to the struggling Purp with her eye popping batting display that appears to have not an ounce of rust.
Heather "Ice, just drop the cream" Miller also appears to have been on a heavy regime of steroids, bating practice and Bojangles ice tea over the offseason, as she routinely inflicted pain on the 12" .44 core 375 compression softballs last evening. One could literally hear the softball scream as Miller smacked it around like a British nanny. The 3rd woman in attendance is no stranger to Herd Lore. Manager extrodinaire, Rose "Ket" Ketner showed why she was once the major cog of one of the most storied franchises in Thursday Co-Rec League History. Ket hit the ball with precision and accuracy that Herd Management did not know existed in this universe.
Brian "Doubles" Timmons fear that he may become Brian "Turn and Look" Timmons are unfounded to this point, as Doubles #4evr was able to track down seemingly impossible softballs in the outfield all day/night long. C"Freak"Nix wins the humanitarian with no sox award for his desire to forgo his batting practice for the overall safety of the team. The stunner of the evening came when Goose announced he may be absent for Game 1, leaving super reliever Chad "Biggie Gazelle" White to toe the rubber on the 1st Thursday of April.
Overall, Herd Management feels like this roster is going to surprise some teams this spring.
Next practice will be Thursday, March 15 @ 5:45. I have made arrangements to have the sun stay up for about an hour longer than we got last night.
Thank you for your Continued Support of Herd Athletics,
Herd Management
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