Friday, May 11, 2012

Herd's a Champion

Herd 15, Flex 5
Everyone else: Who cares, we won!  Woohoo!

7:30 vs. Lit'l Ms Tidy on WP #4
Pregame Festivities: YES! Location: TBD

Bueller?  Bueller???

In the timeless words of the 2 Skinnee J's,

Pass the baton to the next and run along
Try a mile in my shoes
and get used
to the phenomenon
On and on like a triathalon
Step to podium, whose the real champion

You're a Champion
You're a Champion
You're a Champion
You're a Champion

Yes, Herd.  We are, indeed, champions for at LEAST 6 more days.  On a crisp spring evening, the excitement of celebrity stalking, pregame samplers, and iPhone DJ Chad "Biggie Gazelle" White all grew into a crescendo of energy that delivered the mighty Purps to victory for the first time in this now half-done Spring season.  It tasted nice, didn't it?  Like a grilled pimento cheese sandwich (or was that just my indigestion?).

The game started, well, way better than the 7 - 10 run hole we normally start in.  The battery of Goose and Ket (and the best umpire of all time) would prove to be unstoppable, as Rose charmed batters into complacency and the General racked up a league-leading 2 strikeouts.  The momentum of solid play in the field would urge the Herd bats out of their normal early game slumber, as the Purps would tally 4 (or so) runs in the first inning alone.  Inspired again by the blistering bat (and diving acrobatics in LCF) of John "Sparkles" Spivey, who's home run streak grew another game, the rest of the Herd would follow suit.

Erin "Fantasy" Haneline?  17 RBIs
Heather "Ice" Miller? A walkoff slapshot down the first baseline that would have made Wayne Gretzky jealous.
Christopher "Freak" Nixon? You didn't split any balls this evening.  Shame on you.

After grabbing the lead, the Herd would hold on tight, anchored by solid play at 2B by Downtown Kyle Brown and Ashley "Legend/Scoop/Excellence" Purdue at 1B.  After first injuring his esophagus, then wrist, THEN ankle, Bryan "Doubles" Timmons finally got some relief from Herd Management who promptly came in and smacked the yellow off the ball.  Then ran laps around the field as if to say, "I'm running a marathon in November, can you sponsor me?".

As with all great victories, this was a team effort.  Let's ride the wave and pull off the giant upset next week to start the second half of the season, mmmmkay Herd?


The Shannon Craft Award for being Shannon Craft award goes to...Shannon Craft!  She wasn't even at the game, she's just that good.

The Redding/Haneline award for most gut-wrenching slide goes to...Erin Haneline!  You're grace, dignity and willingness to play in the dirt never ceases to amaze.

The Herd Management's Spirit award goes to...Herd Managment!  See what happens when you come in?  We win.  Thanks for not making us beg you to play.  Go ahead and plan on starting next week.

Random Herd Facts:

The Herd rejects your reality and substitutes it with its fist.

The Herd once won a staredown contest blindfolded..... over the phone, without even dialing a number.

Mick Jagger has the Moves like Herd.

When the Herd says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't dumb.

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