Hangin' Round, downtown by myself and I had so much time to sit and think about the Herd and then there they were

LAST NIGHT:

Poison, Scorpions, Guns N Roses 18. Herd 9

Next Week:

Winger v/s Herd 6:30 Washington #1

Pregame Festivities: Kernel Custard 5:15

Game Notes:
 On a night that was witness to two of the most heart wrenching betrayals in Herd History, one by the Godfather Andy Fansler and the other by the Herd Management's former Pregame Festivity Friends, the Mighty Purple Herd was unable to overcome an early deficit to overtake a mediocre 80’s hair band Thursday night on storied Washington Park 4, losing by a final score of 18-9.

Even though the night began with an initial pregame setback when some of the most elite Herd athletes ever showed their disdain for one of the great American Staples in music history, the Herd did show tremendous heart battling back from an early 9 run hole. Led by Marcy Playground hater Heather “Lil Joe” Miller, the Herd put on a furious rally in the 5^th inning behind her 3 for 3 evening. Joining Heather in her hatred for great music was her Sister, the Fantasy Haneline. Fantasy, sporting a new no fried foods mentality, was already in mid season form, blasting the Motlee Crue pitcher for a clutch base hit that drove in 2 runs in the 6^th inning.

Despite giving up an atrocious amount of runs, the Mighty Pup did show flashes of brilliance in the field. Brilliance that can only be compared to Marcy Playgrounds 2^nd effort Shapeshifter that put out timeless hits such as Rebel Sodville, America and Love Bug. The Herd’s love bug, Ashley Perdue was the leader of that defensive brilliance, flashing more leather than something that tends to flash a lot of leather. Legend’s partner in crime, our very own Triple Zero Biggie Gazelle was also a defensive wiz last night, racing off the mound like legendary NASCAR driver Denny Hamlin to spear the slow grounder and throw out several weak attempts by the Crue.

Marcy Playgrounds finest album, self-titled “Marcy Playground” sported numerous number one hits such as Cloak of Elvenkind, Vampires of New York and Opium, but not even this album could match the effort of our self-titled award winner, Shannon Craft. Craft Award continues her years of steady play mixed in with some pizzazz and flash that goes unrivaled.

Our automatic double machine and proud father to be, Doubles Timmons continued his almost obscene onslaught on the world doubles history books YET AGAIN doubled in a run in a crucial 5^th inning rally. Herd management refuses to add more to this report about Timmons’ accomplishments due to his outright refusal to defend Herd Managements musical interests during pre game festivities.

Very reminiscent of Marcy Playgrounds latest album titled “Leaving Wonderland in a Fit of Rage”, the Herd latest superstar is titled Big John Hits with Rage. Rookie John stepped onto the field as a blossoming young boy, but left the field a raging hit machine. The future is indeed bright for this Silk Road Stud.

Herd Management cannot even begin to put into words the appreciation and outright relief, both mentally and emotionally the return of the Herd Spark Plug Amanda Redding. Having Redding on the team makes the heart wrenching losses bearable. Herd Management would like to encourage Redding to stop trying to make a better future for herself and never leave the Herd again. Ever.

Despite the loss, Herd history was made on this opening day. Herd Uber Star, Chris Nix-on Candy Yeah set a Herd record for being intentionally walked the most times in one season. In a display of outright cowardness, the Crew Pitcher sent the Herd Superstar to 2^nd base instead of giving up a third pants wetting home run from this mighty slugger.

The Mighty Herd will look to even the season series with the Crew next week at 6:30. The Herd will welcome back two of the most storied players in Herd History, Goose and J-Mill.

Random Herd Facts:

The Herd’s account at Match.com was terminated. There is no match for The Herd.

Bullies stuff Nerds into lockers. The Herd stuffs Bullies into Nerds.

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Herd stories.

There used to be a street named after The Herd, but it was changed because nobody crosses The Herd and lives.