Friday, April 29, 2011

Will you still Herd me, to-moooooooooorrow?



LAST NIGHT:
The why are they even in our league?s 16, The Artist Formerly Known as Herd 6



NEXT WEEK:
Official Cinco de Mayo celebration with the Herd.  All night long.
Herd vs. Groomingdale's, 6:30 WP #4
Herd vs. South Fork, 8:30 WP #4





PREGAME FESTIVITIES:
Probably not, due to the early first game


Game Notes:  Out of respect for the royal wedding and accompanying media circus, the Herd chose last night not to pull off the upset of the millennium and fell to a group of what may or may not have been rejects of the Winston-Salem Dash.  You see, an upset of this magnitude would surely have whipped the local national worldwide news media into a frenzy that would have left Kate and William looking around uncomfortably before demanding to know where all the bloody cameras had gone.

Once again, the evening started on a high note at PGF, with an appearance by the man, the myth, the legend that is Herd Management.  While HM was able to attend, the photographer for "Take a Picture with the Herd" was a no-show, so the group was left to discuss whether or not the Monkeytail Beard is OK (this reporter says absolutely yes, it is).  Lindsey "good luck charm" Yarborough brought her usual splendidness (and fried pickle chips) to the festivities and even though her record of PGF attendance and Herd victories would be blemished, her love of Herd would not.  We hope to see you at the games next week Lindsey, and please bring David "kickball stud, maybe softball stud?" Allred with you.

The Herd jumped out to a quick and early 2 - 0 lead in the first inning after Bryan "thank you John "bailout" Spivey for catching things in the outfield since it seems like I can't anymore" Timmons got on and was quickly scored by the superb hitting we've come to expect from "Goose" Walkush and Heather "#WINNING" Miller.  The lead would be short-lived, as it would become evident when the Crew got to the plate that something was amiss.  See, what had happened was, the Crew was supposed to be going to a professional league tournament, took a wrong turn and landed in the Thursday night co-ed league.  In a desire to fill a void left by not enough hugs from Mommy in their childhoods, the Crew continued their dominance in the league by half-heartedly dismantling your beloved Herd.  Take solace, Mighty Herd, and know that you scored more runs against this team than anyone else so far this season.

After a couple quick innings, the Herd bats once again snapped to life like Herd Management at the mention of Marcy Playground.  Christopher "Skyball" Nixon showed the Crew that they weren't the only ones that could hit home runs at will as he upped his season total to 3.  Threeeee jacks, ah-ah-ah.  Jennifer "what are YOU laughing at?" Miller also got in on the fun, driving in one of the Herd's precious runs on the evening.  Biggie "Gazelle" White continued to burn up the base paths with speed normally reserved for motorized vehicles, but for the first time in recent history was shockingly gunned out at first.  Things like that don't happen against mere mortal teams, folks.  Even the solid play of Herd vets Shannon "we will miss you next week" Craft and Ashley "seriously, we will really miss you next week" Perdue were not enough on this evening to knock the Crew off of their pedestal made of top of the line softball equipment that was donated to them.

Not to be lost on this evening would be the efforts of Erin "glove, I don't need no stinking glove!" Haneline.  Erin wrote herself onto a new page of Herd history by joining the ranks of those that have chipped teeth (Doubles), been likely concussed (Herd Management), gotten black eyes (Doubles again, perhaps he needs a helmet), and bled (pretty much anyone who has ever slid).  Erin, you are the epitome of what makes the Herd, well, the Herd.  Thanks for all you do, and we're all glad everything checked out OK and are wishing you a speedy recovery.  But seriously, using a glove is perfectly acceptable next time.

Random Herd Facts:

The Herd was born in a log cabin... that it built with its bare hands.

The Herd can actually jump-start a car by simply yelling under the hood.

The Herd has its own protien powder. The ingriedients include: cocoa powder, stem cells, dodo egg protein, enriched uranium, LSD, and Vin Diesel.

When Alexander Graham Bell first invented telephone, he had 2 missed calls from the Herd.

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